I've blown a few things in my day
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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