I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize