it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
