come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
