you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
