The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
