Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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