My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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