Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i've created a new STD.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
