My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
