Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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