Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
