Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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