This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
And then he peed in my hair
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
