i don't like sucking hair
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
