Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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