Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
