Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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