I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
