just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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