Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize