look no pants
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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