Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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