I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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