OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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