He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
