JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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