So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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