So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
