You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
