If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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