at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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