Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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