I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
