ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize