get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
