we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
