Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
