why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
