You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
