What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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