Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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