the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
