If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
