Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Welp...herpes.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
