so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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