Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
