awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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