and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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