Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize