I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
