Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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