found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
