all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
