I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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