After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
