Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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