Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
