I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
