sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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