Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
