normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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