One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I supernannyed him into submission
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
