found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Drake has all the answers
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have post one night stand depression
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