So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
