Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
